Childhood Convictions

Did you have any strongly held convictions when you were a child? Something like what life should look like, or “what you were going to do when you grew up”?

If I did, I cannot succinctly say what they were, except for the fact that I always turned to nature. If I was looking for something to do, I wanted to be out in nature. If I encountered a problem, I wanted to get out in nature. If I was totally happy, how best to celebrate it than doing so in nature?

It still took me years to realize how important nature truly is to me. Yet now, when life’s twists and turns show up unexpectedly, I find that I start listening to nature…

And the question that seems to come up time after time is: What is this situation that I am finding myself in telling me about my nature? 

When a woodpecker across the road is widening the opening of a nesting block for much smaller birds, I ask myself if there are any ‘doorways’ in my life that are too small to get through? Opportunities that I am not examining for whatever the reason. Only to find that not checking what is hiding behind that doorway that is only just ajar, makes me miss out. Missing out by choice, I might add…

In this way, the convictions we held as a child can be hints as to what is important in our lives.

Now, if you - as a child - were convinced you were going to be a fireman and as life progressed you didn’t become that fireman, it  doesn’t mean that you should change careers all of a sudden. However, asking yourself why you wanted to become a fireman may give you information on things that are truly important to you. Was it the “putting out fires”? In that case perhaps you now find yourself helping others solve problems of a different kind. Or was it “being the hero”? In which case you may find yourself being a hero in your chosen field of work…

In other words, our childhood convictions can become the pathway to our core believes. Or even the core knowing of what we are here for. Of what our place is in the grand skein of things. Of how we can make a difference in the world…

That childhood conviction was not just something silly, or just something that everybody says at that age - it was something that we would remember throughout our lives, and that could give us hints which direction to go when life would be chaotic. When we might come to a point of feeling powerless.

So in a chaotic time like we are living in today, we may want to ask ourselves, what was my childhood conviction, and what does it have to tell me at this point in time?

Being and Doing

In an ideal world we are our Selves. We are the “I am” — accepting without judgement all that we are at that exact point in time. The good, as well as the things we would like to change about ourselves. 

And in an ideal world we express the person we are without reservation. In other words, what we do is a perfect reflection of who we are. And in this way, being and doing are the inner and the outer “I am” at that point in time.

Needless to say that we are not living in an ideal world. We are living in a chaotic world in which we are juggling obligations, friends, family, and social distancing… A world where in many cases our home base — which always was a place of rest and relaxation; a place where we could be ourselves without having to bother about what other people are thinking — has become our work space. A world where face masks hide our smiles, and in which we need to either have our groceries delivered to our doorstep, or exercise extreme care when going to the supermarket.

All in all, we are living in a world that is demanding us to change. Doing the things we have always done in a certain way, is not working for us anymore. Meeting friends and family now requires different settings, or even new, digital ways of getting together.

To be fair, it is not like we haven’t noticed this need for change over the past five or six years or so… Looking back, almost everybody can see where we have received those little pushes to start doing things differently — or even to start doing different things altogether. 

But it seems like we are now at a point where we cannot push this need for changes in our lives away from ourselves any longer. And this brings up a couple of questions…

• What are the things in our lives that we would like to change?
• How do we change them?

Chances are that the changes that will work best for us in the long run, are changes that allow us to express who we truly are to a greater extend. To express the “I am” in any — hopefully creative — way that we feel will bring the most joy and fulfillment into our lives.

And pretty soon we will find that this will create a new space around us. A space that fits our energy, our “being”, and a space that allows us to breathe more easily.

Ultimately, the closer we can bring what we do — how we present ourselves, where we spend our time and energy, and yes, how we are handling our jobs etc. — to “being ourselves”, or the “I am”, the more (breathing) space we are giving ourselves.

And with that is becomes possible for a calm ease of living to return to to our lives…