New Things

We all have things we wish we could have in our lives that up to now we haven’t had... Whether it is something on our ‘birthday wish list’, or something that we have been working toward for some time ~ every once in a while it is time for something new.

Often this ‘something new’ brings changes with it.
If we would like to redecorate the house ~ before we can bring in the new furniture, we need to take out the old furniture. And this can bring along an interesting process of decision-making. The easiest possibility is when the old furniture is really on its last legs, broken, or otherwise without any worth whatsoever. In that case it is just a matter of discarding it. Although if we feel it is still worth selling ~ we need to decide how to go about it. Through Ebay? Or a garage sale? Graigslist? Then, applying a value to each piece we are putting up for sale, there is always a chance that we feel this tingle that wants to back out of the whole thing. After all, if it is still worth that amount of money, should we just keep it a while longer? And even if we are happy to sell it, how long are we willing to be involved in getting rid of the old ~ even if it would bring in some money?
But then, when everything is finally cleared out ~ there is the excitement of the new being brought in!

It is easy to see how the process works when talking about furniture.
Yet the process is the same for pretty much anything new we want to bring into our lives. Whether it is something physical, something material ~ or a new perspective, a new attitude.

If we want to perceive life in a new way, it is necessary to let go of the way we have looked upon life up to now. If we want to do different things, we need to organize an opening in our calendars ~ literally create an opening in which we can plan this new activity...
And like with the furniture ~ this takes us through a series of decisions on how to go about it to create the space for the new things to fit into. And it gives us an opportunity to observe how this brings changes into our lives that make our lives better.

Desired changes. New things we have been wishing ~ and sometimes waiting for...
Every once in a while it is a good thing to look at what new things can make our lives better!

Grass Roots

According to the dictionary grass roots refer to the most basic level of an activity or organization. And, looking at the actual roots of grass ~ one can’t get closer to the ground...

The other thing that happens with the roots of grasses is that they have this tendency to multiply underground... So where at first just a few blades of grass peek their heads up; pretty soon more and more will follow!

Of course this is how nature works. Most seeds of that one tree that actually find themselves touching the soil in one way or another, eventually will germinate and grow into yet another tree. It is this very principle that is responsible for the growth of groves of trees...

Yet ‘grass roots’ has gotten this specific meaning of a community or group of people that come together in order to instigate changes that seem natural and spontaneous. As opposed to changes orchestrated by a (political) organization or a government.

The interesting thing is that while a number of years ago people were talking about changes they desired in their lives, their environments and the world in general ~ more often than not no real action was taken in order to affect these desired changes. The prevailing attitude seemed to be one of “live and let live” ~ allowing only for individual and private changes.

In the past couple of years more and more people have come together supporting an idea ~ or perhaps even an ideal ~ and having specific views on how this idea not only can make for a better world, but also how this idea can be implemented in the world...
Often those ideas or ideals are relatively simple, not costing a whole lot of money ~ on the other hand not having the potential to make a lot of money either. Yet they would influence the lives of many in a beneficial way.

And that is where the problem lies...

In a society where success is measured in amounts of money ~ where success therefore is looked upon as ‘financial success’ ~ these grass roots ideas often are not viable. Why spend time, money and effort on something that has a close to zero chance of receiving that big bonus at the end of the year?

The fact that more and more grass roots movements exist and actually make the news in one way or another, suggests that in this day and age change is needed. Not just any change ~ a change that touches the core of our societies; and yes one that touches the core of our selves: a change in values.
A change in exactly those things that we have held near and dear for over a century!

And although we may resist this mightily ~ just like the blade of grass will multiply once it has peeked its head up ~ so too will the grass roots call for these changes to multiply...

Past and future

When we think about it, it is surprising how much of our lives we live in our past and future. Reminiscing about the things that we have done, have experienced. Perhaps about things we now wish we had done differently, things that were hard (but we survived). Re-living our past victories and succes stories. While on the other hand we make plans for our future. For the things we want to do next week, next month; on our next vacation. All the things we still wish to experience, trips we want to make this year or the next…

And yet most of us will agree that the best way to live our life and experience everything it has to offer to the fullest is to live ‘now’. In this point in time. Without weighing our experiences against what has happened last month or last year, or continuously looking at how it could have been better.

It seems that living in this very moment is harder than it looks, as we all too often feel weighted down by our past, or find ourselves worrying about our future.

The solution ~ although by no means easy ~ is to every one in a while take some time to take an honest look at whatever it is we are carrying along on our paths through life. If we would do so, we may find that there are a handful of things that we feel are truly essential for living our lives the way we want to. Then there can be quite a pile of things we have learned in our youth, some of which have proven to be helpful, while other things ~ even then ~ were not. And perhaps the third pile of things are those things we were told by others. The opinions of others as to how we present ourselves, what we do, how we act; even how we choose to dress.

Having made this division, it becomes clear which parts of our past we have no loner an need for in our lives, and consequently we can leave those behind.
The things that are not ~ or never were ~ helping us. And the opinions of other people. Of course everybody has the right to their opinion; and we can even listen to other people’s opinions. However, that doesn’t mean that we should also act on those opinions other people may have. Especially if we cannot perceive any manner in which they would actually help us on our paths through life.

If we do take the time and effort to lighten our loads this way, something wonderful tends to happen! Not only does it enable us to let the past be the past, chances are that now that we are no longer carrying too much of a load already, we are not quite so worried about what the future may hold in store for us.
And those two things make it a lot easier for us to live our lives in full awareness, right now.

Regrets

Most of us regret something every once in a while.
Whether it is something we said without thinking of the consequences, or something we did or didn’t do for whatever the reason. And truth be told, more often than not the reasons we have are good reasons to do or not do something ~ even to say something, or not...
Hence most of those regrets are what I would call ‘small regrets’ that fall into the category of making choices. We all have to make choices, and sometimes even if we have chosen wisely ~ we still would have wished things had been different.
And looking back at what happened, we often just come to one conclusion: Life happened...

In other words, some regrets may just come with the choices we have to make in our lives.

But then there are the regrets that are the ‘big regrets’.
Those are usually the things related to opportunities we let pass us by. Sometimes because we didn’t believe enough in ourselves. Sometimes because it didn’t seem as good a deal as it turned out to be for the person who did grab hold of that particular opportunity.

Yet the most common reason to not do the things that are really important to us is that we react from what we believe other people expect of us rather than the way we truly are.
And when we look back at a period of time in our lives only to see that we didn’t do things we wanted to do while we got the chance to do them ~ that brings us into the realm of the ‘big regrets’.

The things is that a lot of the time they aren’t the things you might think ~ like ‘climbing Mount Everest’, or ‘walking to Santiago de Compostela’.
They are the things like not working so hard that there was never time to enjoy life; to see the children grow up, or investing time into your relationships with friends.

The regret that while you were busy doing a lot of things ~ there was never really any time for ‘being’.

That may well be the biggest regret of our time: to not having taken the time to be yourself. To do the things that were important to you at the time. To not fulfill your heart’s desires when you had the chance.

Wouldn’t it have been nice to look back and say ‘I have done that!’?
Then perhaps it is time to think about how you can go about being true to yourself. To enjoy the things you were dreaming about when you were a kid...

To answer the question: “What would it take for me to look back at my life without any ‘big regrets’?”

If what we are doing doesn’t work...

At some point in our life we may find that for all our efforts, what we are doing isn’t getting us where we want to go. It usually takes a while to come to that realization, but then something happens that makes us fully aware of the fact that the situation we find ourselves in is (no longer) working for us.

The big question then becomes: “Well, if this doesn’t work, what can I do that will work for me?”
And so we find ourselves on a quest to find what we need to change, what we need to do different, and where we can apply our energy more productively.

As soon as we start looking at these things, a number of things are likely to happen:
We may become aware that our old patterns have different sources and are harder to break than we held possible.
When we break those old patterns, change the old tapes in our minds, the solutions we now see may be vastly different than we ever thought they would be.
We may discover that, once we start talking about our new-found direction ~ in any other field but the metaphysical or spiritual, making that change is applauded. Yet especially when there is money (yes, making money...) involved ~ when your path is a spiritual one, the reactions are more likely to be: “Uh-oh; her/his ego is taking over! Now it is all over, that is such a shame...”

Now, the first two are relatively easy to deal with. There are books on the how-to; there is the internet where processes can be found to handle things like this; motivational speakers, coaches, therapists ~ in other words, if you really want to change, help is out there.

The last point, however, seems to have to do with an ‘old tape’ that is more cultural. It is a message that when we are walking a spiritual path, we will be provided for.
For me, the first thing that comes to mind are holy men from pretty much all over the world, who are holding out a beggar’s bowl. And I am thinking, ‘They are clearly spiritual, if they are to be provided for, then why are they begging?’

In our modern-day lives it doesn’t work that way anymore.

Even when we are walking a spiritual path, we have bills to pay! We may have families to care for. And we probably like to eat a good meal at regular times.
At this point in time, not only is it okay to make money while on a spiritual path ~ the process of doing so is what helps us in our personal growth! And from that perspective, it makes us even more ‘spiritual’!

Happiness

When are you happy?
Is it when the sun is shining, and the weather is good, nice warm? When the days are long during the Summer? Or when everybody gathers in the dark of Winter?
Are you happy when things go ‘your way’? When you are appreciated ~ when others are telling you you are doing good?

Often, when we describe what makes us happy it are things outside of ourselves that we notice make us happy. Children at play, kittens, puppies, the things with a high ‘ahhhh’ factor; things that make us smile. Surprisingly, our relationship make it on that list a lot less than one would think...
What does make it on that list are ‘winning the lottery’, ‘helping others’.

Funny thing is that almost all of the above are things that are either outside of our control or directed at someone other than ourselves. Over the last couple of months, the things that someone told me made them happy that were closest to one’s self were ‘staying out of trouble’ and ‘doing the right thing’.

When you think about it, this makes happiness a very elusive thing ~ maybe even something that is hard to attain.
When our perspective on something we want, like happiness, is that receiving it is dependent on others, or even on things that are outside of our control (like the weather, or winning the lottery) it becomes a difficult thing to get. When we can only be happy when the sun shines, or when we win the lottery ~ we set ourselves up for lots of times when happiness is out of reach for us...

So what is the alternative? How can we be happy more consistently; or at least more often?
The answer has to lie within ourselves. If we can change our perspective from: ‘being happy is instigated by something that is outside of us’ to: ‘being happy is something that starts inside of ourselves’, all of a sudden we tend to link happiness with fulfillment, contentment, and expressing our unique potential.
And these are things that are within our realm of influence! We can chose to so those things that make us feel fulfilled. We can chose to express our personal uniqueness in a way that makes us feel good ~ in a way that makes us happy.

Looking at myself, I know that the outside factors most definitely can help me make those choices... For me, on sunny days being happy is easier than on days when rain and wind make me want to stay close to the fire place...
Yet, as far as happiness is concerned, I am well aware that it is a choice that is mine to make!

Choose to be happy!!

Release

As we are living our lives people, situations, and even material things of all sorts and sizes move into our lives ~ and eventually move out of our lives again.
As it turns out most of the items that land in my grocery cart every week have a decided expiration date. When that date arrives it better had been used, or it will move out of my life in some other manner. Yet there are also things that we may not even think would have an expiration date, and yet, at some point in time they do move out of our lives just the same…

It is one of those “wisdoms” that are so easily said: that we have to release all those things that are holding us back. To release the things that may have served us in the past, yet are no longer doing so. The things that are part of our comfort zone, but that in reality have lost their purpose in our lives long time ago.

It is not as easy to actually do it.

Sometimes the memories associated with something will prevent us from releasing it. Perhaps memories of who gave it to us long ago, or the hopefully happy occasion it was given to us.
And when it is about people, we may have drifted apart ~ may not even know what to talk about when we would meet ~ but it is easier to leave it at that rather than actually releasing the other person. Possibly we were never that close to begin with but the thought of what might have been had circumstances been different is what keeps us from truly releasing whatever bond is left between us.

And then there are those that we never imagined would ever stop being part of our lives. Those that we may not speak with often, those that we keep in touch with through emails and Skype ~ yet somehow it feels like they will always be there for us, just like we would be there for them.
And when a long time friend like that passes, all we have left are memories.
There is no choice, other than to release them.

Whether we release someone or something is not always up to us.
As our lives move with the Seasons; as one moon becomes two, and three, and many… Our paths may take different directions ~ even detours ~ and suddenly we find ourselves in new places, with new friends. Living our lives and discovering we have new needs and desires.

To what extend we then choose to release the old is a personal decision. For some people it means moving to a new job, a new place and consequently releasing the old job and house.
For others the only decision that makes sense at that point is a way more drastic release.

Either way, when we release the old, we are most definitely creating the space for new beginnings!