Patterns

We can see patterns all around us. There are traffic patterns, often associated with for instance rush hour. There are weather patterns, the seasons provide us with patterns, but also the sun shining through the leaves of a tree creates patterns on the ground beneath it. 

And come to think of it, even the way in which plants grow follows patterns ~ a very unique, rhythmic pattern of growth, making it possible to identify a tree by observing its shape, its pattern…

Patterns are rhythmic recurring ‘designs’. This means that there seems to be a ‘cause and effect’ associated with a pattern ~ “If this is occurring, then that will happen”. This ‘cause and effect’ then makes patterns predictable.

In our personal lives, patterns provide structure.

Getting up in the morning, taking a shower, getting dressed and drinking a cup of coffee is my pattern to start the day. As long as I follow this pattern, everything in the world around me, or at least in my direct environment, fits in place. My start of the day sets me up with a sense that ‘all is good’, and that my day has every chance to unfold itself according to plan...

Yet when the pattern is not complete, for instance because I choose not to drink my cup of coffee immediately after getting dressed, the structure I have given the start of each day feels ‘off’. And continuing my day, it is almost like some part of me is waiting for ‘the other shoe to drop’.

Fact is that most of us feel comfortable functioning within a structure, and patterns give us a structure that is flexible enough to change on a moments notice when a situation requires us to do so.

And there is the rub...

Sometimes we experience patterns in our lives that seem fixed ~ when the ‘cause event’ takes place, we feel unable to change the ‘effect pattern’.

Frequently this is true for patterns that have to do with interaction with others. These patterns often have started during our childhood, and prove very hard to recognize. And as long as we don’t recognize both the ‘cause event’ and the ‘effect pattern’, it is almost impossible to break patterns like this.

Whenever the pattern is triggered, we find ourselves reacting in a way that we don’t necessarily want to, but can’t stop ourselves from doing so nonetheless...

In most cases we may not even want to break patterns like these — we accept them as part of who we are. In other cases, when we feel a pattern has grown into a habit, we may feel we do want to release the old pattern, or replace the old pattern with a new pattern that, while still providing us with the desired structure, better suits us at this point in life.

First published on November 4, 2011