Listen to your parents

Googling that phrase brings up any number of sites that each have any number of reasons or arguments why it is a good thing to listen to your parents. And they are probably right. At least most of the time.

For most parents are loving and nurturing and have a strong desire to protect us.

On the other hand, even with something as reasonable as listening to our parents, there is a need for balance. Each new generation has a new outlook on life, and even when they do listen to their parents, ultimately they will do things their own way. On top of that ~ especially in the field of technology ~ things are changing so fast that the advice our parents can give us is almost by definition outdated…

And so, even while we are listening  to our parents, it is a good idea to keep thinking things through one our own accord; to keep forming our own opinions; and to keep asking ourselves whether the advice our parents are giving us ~ or the rules they are presenting us with ~ feel right to us.

And therein lies the catch.

If we are not motivated to take these steps starting at a relatively young age, we may not become aware that something isn’t feeling right, and may not have the skill to take action when we aren’t sure…

This can come from having an unconditional love and trust toward our parents ~ which then is extended to all ‘parental figures’ like family members, caretakers, teachers and so on. Or it can be instilled in us by stick rules that we are forced to follow as we grow up.

Either way it makes us vulnerable because it takes away our most important ‘yardstick’ with which to measure right and wrong in our lives: how it feels to us.

In an ideal situation, children are raised with a strong inner sense as to what feels right and what doesn’t. Strong enough that they will take action when things are happening with them or around them that doesn’t feel right for whatever reason.
And in that ideal situation, parents listen to their children when they start talking about the things or the people that don’t feel right to them. To pay attention and engage in conversation, rather than brushing this sense of unease a child is bringing up away. And to then sense whether something is going on that indeed isn’t right and proper, or if it is just something quirky or weird…

And then to take action.

Yes, it is a good thing to listen to our parents. Yet it is perhaps even more important that we as parents, or caring adults, raise our children with a strong inner sense of right and wrong, and above all, hear what they have to say!