Understanding

Understanding the issue at hand is for most people an important step on the road to either solving it or at least moving on from it. Coming to a comprehension as to what instigated the issue, and to what extend we ourselves are responsible for it to bring an upset into our lives may show where our own opportunities for (personal) growth are presented in the situation…

In other words, where is the other person coming from, and what can I learn from it.

Given the fact that everything happens for a reason, and that we are creating our own lives ~ and everything that happens in it ~ by our own choices and actions, means that whatever issue we are faced with, is something we have created in our own lives. Therefore, if we feel we don’t need this particular kind of drama in our lives, it behooves us to see our part in its creation and change ourselves.

It sounds straightforward, yet hardly ever is…

All too often we first and foremost want to understand where the other person is coming from as far as the issue is concerned. This gives us the understanding to feel empathy with the other person, or, perhaps just as often, look at our own actions in a more positive light.

If “they” are reacting angrily when I do this, “they” must be suffering from a major spell of indignation. “They” must not have handled the problems “they” encounter in “their” lives, and therefore the situation got out of hand.

The question then becomes, where does that leave us?

After all, we all have our own roots, our own backgrounds ~ both cultural, experiential, and based in family ~ and we are all on a path through live that will present us with personal growth and learning opportunities. This means that we are bound to clash with others every once in a while. And some times we may handle it better, more gracefully, than other times. Sometimes it can trigger us on a deeper level than other times. And then there are those times when the issue is instigated by a build-up of many ‘smaller-than-small’ things that have taken place over a period of time, that suddenly explode.

Depending on the situation and who are involved we may be able to just walk away from it.
But then again, everything happens for a reason. So even when we can just walk away from it, it is still a good idea to look at what our part in it was.
Ultimately, the question that brings true understanding is why we have created the issue in our lives. When we know that, transforming it and moving on from it is easy.